Have you ever heard some sort of “new” disease, syndrome or condition, read the symptoms and realized you had it? That happened to me this week when I read about productivity shame! I definitely have that, and so do many of my friends. Maybe you do too.

When the pandemic first started and we were just beginning to spend more time at home, although maybe not yet actually locked down, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to do all those things I wanted to do but never normally had the time. Cleaning out cupboards — maybe finding those three favourite winter sweaters I haven’t seen for months and which I suspect I threw out inadvertently, getting back to my painting and sketching, maybe even ripping out that top I knitted and never liked so that I could knit something else. (Why don’t I keep a supply of yarn on hand for when a pandemic happens to strike?)

Not to mention, of course, the things related to my business — that ever growing list of shoulds.

But somehow this free time hasn’t translated into getting things done. Quite the opposite, in fact. I can’t count the times I’ve sat on my couch thinking, “I could get out my painting things now, and then they will be ready for me to do something tonight,” — and then carrying on watching old Stephen Fry programs on YouTube.

My writing projects are not much further ahead than before, and my good ideas to try one day are still in the same file, buried deep in my computer where I’m unlikely to ever find them.

Do I feel bad about this? Sometimes. I try to cut myself some slack, but I do feel guilty — and kind of stupid. Some of my friends admit to the same feelings.

Well, lo and behold, this condition has a name: productivity shame! Apparently so many of us suffer from it that it threatens to become a pandemic all on its its own! I don’t know about you, but when I know other people are suffering similar problems to my own, it doesn’t worry me so much. So now, whenever I feel bad about not getting it all done, I’ll just comfort myself by saying it’s just productivity shame — and this too shall pass.

What I Actually Did Do

1. Made some yummy desserts, including a fantastic dried fruit and nut loaf. If you want to try it, or even see the picture that seduced me into making it, here’s the link: https://www.joyofbaking.com/DriedFruitandNutLoaf.html  The woman on YouTube said it’s better if you wait a couple of days before eating it. Is she nuts? I ate a quarter of mine the day I made it!
2. Recorded about a third of my audiobook of Rare Steak, Red Wine, Hot Tango. Not as much as I had planned, but at least it’s started.
3. Prepared the second edition of Rare Steak, Red Wine, Hot Tango for publication. Can’t complete the process yet because I haven’t been able to contact my cover designer for an update, but I’ll do that as soon as I can.
4. Bought a basil plant at the supermarket and it’s thriving in the sun on my balcony.

Well, I guess I did more than I thought. I’ll remember that next time I feel a wave of productivity shame coming on.